Before this baby decides to pop, I wanted to share something that has, we’ll say, irked me over the past 5 years that I’ve never addressed, and something that I believe has to stop.
Women talking down to other women.
If you’re over the age of 25 and are without a child, you may have experienced some of the following comments:
‘You don’t know what busy is until you have kids.’
‘You just don’t get it- you’ll understand someday.’
‘You know, being a mother doesn’t really start until you have more than two kids.’
An eye roll when you mention that you’re tired, followed by a snarky ‘talk to me in 5 years when you’re in my shoes.’
Don’t get me wrong- I have eaten my own words and by no means do I always choose the politically correct thing to say. But this is an issue that has come up again and again, and continues to be an issue in our society. I am so tired of being spoken down to because I don’t have kids. Consistently being told I can’t relate to or possibly understand other’s experiences because I’m not a mother. And so, because this will soon be changing, I am making a promise to myself.
I promise that I will not minimize other women’s experiences, simply because they don’t have children (for whatever reason).
I promise that you will never hear me say, ‘You just don’t understand- you don’t have kids.’
I realize that I may be coming across as being overly sensitive, and I totally understand (as much as I currently can), that being a mother will change my life in so many ways. I’m not denying that it will be an insanely rich, joyful, and busy journey. However, I’m recognizing that I don’t want this personal experience to dampen my ability to relate to and to respect other women, whether they do or do not have children.
As women, we’ve got to start supporting one another, regardless of our life circumstances. Regardless of whether we have kids, or don’t have kids. Have partners, or don’t have partners. Have careers, or don’t have careers. And regardless of whether we’re trying to have kids, or simply choose not to have kids. It’s all irrelevant.
What matters is that we respect one another.
Because we all deserve that. Each and every one of us.
So whatever your situation, I hope that you know one thing, and that you remind yourself of this often:
You are enough.
Namaste,
Tara
Well said, Tara! Talking down to other women or comparing life circumstances with others is something I feel is so normal in our everyday conversations that can be extremely detrimental to all women.
I often feel guilty expressing that I am tired or feel worn out simply because I don’t have many of the responsibilities women my age have including having children.
I loved reading this and appreciate that as a soon to be mom you recognize the value of being able to relate to all types of women at various stages and with various responsibilities in life.
I totally agree! Such a problem I’m hoping we can put behind us. xo!