I’ve never felt Mom guilt.
Yes, you read that correctly. I have a baby, and I’ve never felt the infamous mom guilt that we’re all ‘supposed’ to feel. That mom guilt that everyone talks about when they leave their babies with their more than capable (in my situation) husbands for an hour or two.
I assume this ‘mom guilt’ is when new (or seasoned) moms feel guilty for doing something for themselves and leave their babe- say, for an appointment at the spa, a yoga class, or even a drive by themselves. I visited my hairstylist for my first ‘long’ outing when Ben was 3 weeks old, and I remember that she congratulated me on this, saying that she’s had quite a few clients that she doesn’t see for the first 8+ months of their baby’s life.
Please don’t get me wrong- I’m totally not judging you for your experience- I respect and acknowledge you and what you must be feeling. I’m simply choosing to speak my truth in the event that any of you resonate, because I don’t find that the ‘lack of’ mom guilt is really spoken about.
So much so that I have actually felt guilty because I DON’T feel guilty. How crazy is that?
I’ve been to many yoga classes, oodles of ‘me’ dates at Chapters, hair appointments, overnight dates, time with girlfriends, dates with the hubby, and hell, even five (yes, five) nights away from my little man spent in Boston on a mindfulness training.
Oh, and my baby is 7.5 months old.
Do I miss my little man when I’m away from him? Sure! He’s freaking adorable- how could I not? But for me, it is SO important that I keep as much of my personal identity as I can, and that I take care of me. And I know that this will only benefit him.
Let me say that again- I NEED TO MAINTAIN MY IDENTITY.
Because yes, I’m a Mom. But for God’s sake, I’m so much more than that, too.
I’m a wife. A psychologist. A yoga teacher. A friend. A helper. Someone who loves reading. Loves learning. Loves inspiring others. Cooking. Baking. The list could go on and on.
So my hope, for you, is that if you’re a Mama- you don’t forget who you truly are. Deep in your soul. That you take time to do things that fill you up. Things that nourish you. That you surround yourself with people who inspire your soul. Because you’re a Mom. But you’re also a person. <3